The holiday season can be a time of joy, connecting with friends, family, and colleagues in a relaxed atmosphere. It can also be a time of feeling like you’re about to snap at the next person who says, “See you next year!” before you wrap up your year-end responsibilities. For many people the entire holiday season brings more challenges than happiness. Family gatherings, social expectations, and traditions can be stressful, especially when they involve people with whom you may not see eye-to-eye on any other day of the year. Navigating this time of year requires resilience, self-care, and strategies for maintaining emotional well-being.
There are several tools you can use to prepare yourself before the seasonal stress begins, as well as to carry you through the New Year reflecting on lots of fond memories instead of seasonal squabbles while you gobble. While it may sound easier said than done, it’s essential to prioritize your mental health during this time using these three tools.
1. Set boundaries early
This isn’t your first time moving through the holiday season. You know what requests typically come your way around the end of the year. You also know when your stress levels start to climb that you’re not as jolly as the dude in the red suit. Planning now will save you stress later. Here’s how you can set clear boundaries—maybe for the first time in your life:
- Prioritize your well-being: Be clear about what you can and can’t do. Is it realistic to get 27 gingerbread houses baked and ready to decorate in addition to everything else you normally do? No, it is not. You can even limit the number of events you attend. Setting boundaries helps prevent overwhelm.
- Communicate your needs: Let others know your limits in a kind but firm way. This could mean adjusting travel plans or giving yourself a break from hosting duties. This year, we’re choosing to travel 90 minutes to our family Thanksgiving dinner, and then come home the same day rather than staying for the full weekend. Why stress when you can sleep in your own bed?
- Don’t overcommit: Give yourself permission to decline invitations or skip activities that don’t bring you joy or that sap your energy levels. That third book club was never much fun anyway, so give yourself a night off. Remember, “No.” is a complete sentence.
2. Practice mindfulness and stress relief
What calms you down on a particularly stressful day or after a tough conversation? Breathing deeply? That’s a start! Plan time to take care of your mental health. Schedule in 10 minutes to read, call a friend, or look at Reels until you have happy tears streaming down your face from laughing so hard. If mindfulness sounds too woo-woo for you, step your toe in the water of stress relief practices with one or more of these reminders:
- Stay present: Try to focus on the joy of the moment rather than getting caught up in future expectations or past frustrations. Does Uncle Harold always remind you of the time the turkey was too dry? Remind him that gravy and cranberry sauce (with the can ridges so you know how thick to make the slices!) were created for a reason. And take a moment to laugh about the past and celebrate the now. Mindfulness practices, like deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay grounded.
- Take breaks: When things feel overwhelming, take short breaks to recharge. A few minutes of quiet time, a walk outdoors, or simply sitting with a cup of tea can restore your energy. My favorite holiday activity is removing the bones from the turkey after dinner. It lets me avoid the commotion in the kitchen with dishes being done and leftovers being put away. And it gives me a little break from the mayhem. And I did I mention that all the dishes are done by the time I’ve finished my task? Bonus!
- Be kind to yourself: The holidays can come with high expectations, so it's important to remind yourself that perfection isn’t the goal. Allow yourself to relax and make room for self-care. Imagine what you’d say to your best friend to make it through a particularly stressful time, then tell yourself the same thing. Savor a special treat, play a special song, or light a candle and watch the flame flicker for a few minutes and breathe.
3. Manage expectations and focus on what matters
- Embrace imperfection: Understand that not everything will go as planned, and that’s okay. Be flexible and try not to let small setbacks derail your experience. Celebrate that dry turkey by having an extra can of cranberry sauce ready. Start a book of holiday foibles that you can look back on and celebrate as the years go by. Have a “biggest blunder” contest. Enjoy saying the words “foible” and “blunder” and make up a song to go along with them! Too far? Never!
- Simplify traditions: You don’t need to do everything, and sometimes simplifying holiday traditions—whether it’s scaling back gift-giving or letting go of elaborate meals—can make the season more enjoyable. This might be year to stop sending greeting cards and posting a holiday picture on your social channels instead. Or maybe you start drawing names for the holidays and only purchase something for that one person. Your wallet and your blood pressure will thank you!
- Reconnect with meaning: Whether it's spending time with family, helping others, or taking part in spiritual practices, grounding yourself in the deeper meaning of the season can shift the focus away from stress toward fulfillment. Maybe your new tradition is to ask everyone to bring their favorite rendition of a beloved holiday song, and then take turns playing them after the big meal is cleaned up. Sing along. Or don’t. Whatever brings you the most joy, it’s sure to bring a pleasant memory when you hear that song on the radio the next time—especially if Uncle Harold sings “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” in his off-tone falsetto!
Lastly, remember that the holidays are temporary, much like all those delicious leftovers. Surviving the holidays is about protecting your mental and emotional well-being and embracing what makes you feel the peace and joy of the season. Merry everything and happiness always. Oh, and “See you next year!”
