Beware the Fallacy of the Mismatched Comparison

“Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people”  – Nido Qubein

Last month I attended a conference with over two hundred other speakers, writers, and coaches. The focus of the event was on how to define, develop, and deliver your message to the world.

The participants came from different stages in their journeys and shared a common interest in learning what the speakers had done to create success in their particular niche. The lessons were wide ranging and varied, from those who had achieved success by marketing products and services online, to those who had built successful speaking businesses, to others who ran successful coaching practices.

Excellent speakers, a great setting, and a well planned flow all made the event valuable, and frankly I walked away with a lot of great ideas that I’ll be implementing in the months ahead.

But there are some people I met who probably wouldn’t say that about their experience, and chances are that in a few weeks (perhaps days) it is likely that some of them are questioning whether they should even continue on the path they chose that brought them to the conference.

Why the mismatch in outcomes from people who attended the same conference?

Because some of the attendees will fall into a trap that often derails the decision to take action—what I call the Fallacy of the Mismatched Comparison.

Let me explain in the way that it became apparent to me this was occurring during the conference.

One of my goals at the event was to interact with other attendees so I might learn from them as well as from the speakers. So I intentionally relocated to a different table after every major break—to meet new people, learn about their aspirations, and gain insight into what they would be doing next.

Being one who tends to return early from breaks, I often found myself sitting with one or two others while we waited for everyone else to come back. After we introduced ourselves to each other I adopted one of my favorite go to approaches for such situations—I started asking questions about their takeaways from the last presentation and how they might use what they learned.

The responses to my questions almost always fit into one of two categories:

The confident here’s what I will do response—characterized by the quick identification of one of two things the last speaker said that resonated with them, quickly applied to their current situation, then transformed into a doable action step they would take.

The overwhelmed, unsure response, why it won’t work for me response—characterized by a hesitancy to choose an idea they could apply, an unwillingness to commit to action, and a tendency to explain how the insights were difficult to apply to their particular situation.

Yup. There it is—the Fallacy of the Mismatched Comparison (raising its ugly head once again).

OK, by now (if you haven’t already figured it out) you’re probably wondering what this fallacy is all about.

It’s simple—it’s what happens when you compare the success someone else has achieved with the success you have not achieved, and conclude that it you cannot achieve that same level of success.

Why is it a fallacy?

Because it is built upon a false belief—thinking that you can (or should) go from where you are today to where someone else is who has been at it much longer and concluding that your vision is unachievable (when in reality it just needs more time and effort).

For example, one of the people I spoke with lamented how she couldn’t possibly see herself doing what the last speaker had said. She continued by explaining where she was in her business and lamenting the gap between where she was and where the speaker was (all the while affirming why she couldn’t do it).

And although it should have been obvious to her, it apparently (as confirmed in our discussion) did not occur to her that the speaker had invested over a decade in getting to the place they described to us, while she had only been pursuing her path for two years.

So what does this mean to you (or your credit union)?

As the year comes to an end and you do what we all do at this time of the year—look back on the progress made in the past year and ponder your vision for what you will achieve in the year ahead—be sure not to fall victim to the Fallacy of the Mismatched Comparison.

In other words…

Looking back on 2014: Consider the success achieved based on where you/your credit union was at the beginning of the year and celebrate the progress made during the year.

Looking out to 2015: Define your goals and objectives based on where you/your credit union are/is now and where it can go in the year ahead as you pursue the destination you have decided to pursue.