Buckle up and come on a journey as we dive into the world of Hanscom Federal Credit Union CEO Peter Rice who has recently published an autobiographical slice of his life titled Break or Become: How Hard Roads Make Better Leaders.
This is a book unlike any CEO autobiography I have ever read, and I have read a lot. There are deaths, grief, parenting challenges, and a marriage. Peter is hanging out the laundry of his life as he writes about who he is and the life choices he has made. He very much wants to do good, for the people in his life, his co-workers, and his credit union members. All credit union CEOs think likewise, but in Peter’s case he decides to put himself to multiple tests and this book is the story of the challenges he decided to engage.
I talked with Peter for well over an hour about his book—and the life events that led him to writing it. The book is structured around three walks he took on an ancient pilgrimage trail, the Camino de Santiago—a 70+ mile hike on the route he chose—triggered by the death of his wife and his realization that, suddenly, he was a single dad with a three-year-old son and a six-year-old son to raise.
His grief about his wife’s death is intense and so is his commitment to dealing with that grief and raising his boys right. So, he decides to take them on a long walk on the Camino de Santiago, from Saria to Santiago de Compostela in Spain.
Of course, I asked Peter if he was a sadist—bringing two little boys for that walk! He acknowledged that he also brought a buggy to push the boys when their legs tired.
Along the way, Peter and his boys were using that time of comparative isolation along the Camino to come to grips with the death and seeking to chart out lives without her. For Peter it also was a time of realizing that he had become a principal caregiver, his role in his boys' lives had suddenly grown larger, and he was determined to do it right.
Along the way, an obvious question loomed in the minds of the boys. “Where’s Mom,” the older boy, Sen, wanted to know.
He knew she was gone but what did that mean? Where is this, Heaven? Where is she?
Every year hundreds of thousands of pilgrims walk the Camino, many with life questions much like Sen’s. Peter was in the right place to seek answers to Sen's questions and to help the boy—and himself—accept the answers.
Flash forward some years and Peter finds himself on the precipice of a new relationship with Laurie but there is a big question to be resolved: how will she get along with the boys and how will the boys get along with her? Peter resolves to find the answer by doing another Camino, where Laurie joins the trio on a 70+ mile walk.
She is game and off they go. This Camino’s objective: taking risks and leaving behind a sense of victimhood arising from the death of his first wife.
Of course, there are obstacles and problems on this Camino—I have been on two myself, talked to many other pilgrims about their experiences, and I doubt there has ever been a Camino where everything went perfectly all the time. Peter’s second Camino is no different but the upshot is that the relationship with Laurie is a go.
And so the third Camino comes into Peter’s game plan. But this one is very different. For one thing he already has a wedding date set, with the event scheduled for Lisbon, Portugal. (Laurie’s mother is from Portugal and she herself has strong ties.) He must walk the Camino and get to Lisbon on a timetable with slim flexibility.
But this Camino grows out of the death of a long-serving Hanscom FCU employee, Tom Boodry—he died from the same disease that killed Peter’s first wife, colon cancer—and Peter wanted to do something that honored Tom. What clicked was collecting donations for Fisher House in Boston by doing the Camino and two Hanscom FCU employees signed up to join Peter and his sons. Fisher House’s mission is providing free lodging to military families to Boston to support their loved ones who are veterans seeking hospital care in the Boston area. Its mission aligns perfectly with the credit union’s.
On the walk Peter faced numerous management challenges and he also learned as he walked. He specifically recounts one instance where a Hanscom employee on the team faced a significant health challenge along the walk. Would the employee quit the walk? Would he never talk with Peter or trust him again? Read the book to discover the story. Spoiler alert—that employee led the group into the grounds of the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela that marks the official end of the trail.
Peter made it to Lisbon in time for the wedding and now is happily married.
Also know that yet another Camino is on the drawing board, with hopes of involving more Hanscom FCU employees in the walk, with donations again going to Fisher House.
What’s the verdict on the book? It’s inspiring. Thoughtful. Filled with moments of profound sadness—but also ones of joy and triumph. And you’ll never read another quite like it.
