The phrase that spoke to me most on day one at CUES CEO Institute at The Wharton School was from a discussion with Professor Mike Useem: Honor the room.
It’s simple. But it’s not always easy.
Because honoring the room means more than just thanking people for showing up. It means recognizing the full experience each person brings with them. Their pressure, their pride, their perspective. It means pausing long enough to remember that everyone around the table carries something we cannot see. And when we forget that, we risk leading from assumption instead of connection.
Professor Useem, shared a list of 15 key items from his leadership decision-making checklist. One line stood out in particular: Convey your character. During our class discussion, Stephanie Curtis, Chief Member Experience Officer at VyStar Credit Union, reflected on that idea and said,
“One item on the checklist was ‘convey your character,’ and that one stuck out to me. We often allow our LinkedIn pages, resumes, or professional bios to share what our organization and networks need to know about us, but there is really nothing tangible that can be taken away from that as it pertains to our character.”
Professor Useem explored strategy, leadership under pressure, and how decisions break down when trust isn’t present. One case study asked the room of credit union executives to explore a situation of leadership under pressure: the 1949 Mann Gulch fire, where smokejumper leader Wagner Dodge made a split-second decision that could have saved his crew but often described as a ‘man of few words’ most didn’t follow him.
Dodge invented what would later be called an “escape fire,” a revolutionary technique where he intentionally set a small fire to create a survivable space in the oncoming blaze’s path. But in the chaos and fear of the moment, Dodge’s crew didn’t follow him. They ran. Thirteen of them died.
It wasn’t a failure of intelligence or courage. It was a failure of shared understanding. A moment where presence could have saved lives, but panic, silence, and lack of clarity cost them instead.
As a class, we reflected on what could have been different. And while hindsight is always clearer, one thing stood out: if Dodge had been able to say, even quickly, that his actions were grounded in the core value every firefighter is taught—safety over suppression—that simple phrase might have been enough to change the outcome. Because even in a crisis, people will follow what they trust. They will trust what they understand. And they understand what they’ve heard repeatedly, consistently and clearly.
That principle doesn’t stop at the fireline.
To honor the room means making space for emotional honesty, not just polished updates. It means giving voice to the tension someone might be carrying silently. It means creating conditions where disagreement is not just tolerated, but valued. It’s not about making every meeting a therapy session. It’s about modeling what it looks like to be present, clear, and human.
I often talk about creating space for real conversations in the credit union movement. It’s one thing to say we care about people helping people. It’s another to structure our leadership and our culture in a way that lives that out.
Honoring the room doesn’t mean slowing down. It means grounding your leadership in presence, not performance. It’s what helps people exhale, and when people can breathe, they can think more clearly, lead more effectively, and show up more fully.
