When you sit down with someone to go over information (it could be a product or service or interview), there’s usually something you say when you finish your explanation. You ask, “Do you have any questions?”
If they have a question, they will likely ask. But just as likely, they may pause or say hmmm, then “No . . . go on.”
But you notice a pause and perhaps a tilt of the head. There is a thought bubble above the other person’s head. Here’s the thing . . . they may not have a question but they have a thought. And the key to success when communicating with another person is to get them to share what they are thinking.
Ask this question instead
Instead of asking, “Do you have any questions?” say “I want to pause for a moment. What are your thoughts?”
This way if they don’t necessarily have a question, they can share what they are thinking.
“Do you have any questions?” is checking for their understanding. “What are your thoughts?” opens the door to let them share their reaction to what you are saying to them.
Check your assumptions
Another reason “What are your thoughts?” is so powerful is that it lets you check your assumptions. So often we get people wrong. How is what you are saying really landing with them? Do they like what you have to say? Is it worrying them? Do they disagree but don’t want to cause any conflict? We all focus so much on what we are saying. We want to be persuasive, get our point across, win the sale. Remember there is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. The more you know about the other person, the more effective you’ll be.
It reminds me of my favorite quote from Michael Goulston - “It’s not about what you tell them, it’s about what you get them to tell you.”
Look for that thought bubble in your next conversation. Ask the other person to share their thoughts with you.