A few weeks ago, my 20-year-old son looked at me and asked, “Are you OK?”
It caught me off guard. Not because the question was strange, on the contrary, it’s one I’ve asked him countless times over the years. Especially in these past few years as he navigated more than most adults do in a lifetime: the separation and eventual divorce between his father and me, two home moves, graduating high school, starting college, and the devastating loss of both his dad to suicide and his grandmother, my mom, to dementia. Through it all, I’ve tried to be his anchor. A steady, safe space.
But that day, when he asked again, “Are you sure you’re OK?” it landed differently. This was more than a check-in. It was a reflection of the emotional environment we had nurtured together: one of honesty, presence, and trust. He was showing up for me.
And it made me pause.
This brief but powerful exchange reminded me how essential it is to not just talk about mental health and emotional well-being but to actually live it. To show up, consistently, for one another. And in our work as credit union leaders, this truth could not be more relevant.
Over the past 30+ years in the credit union industry, I’ve had the privilege of holding leadership roles at four different credit unions ranging in size, complexity, and geography. I’ve seen the full spectrum when it comes to culture and leadership, those who walk the talk, and those who . . . just talk.
Here’s the truth: the difference is stark. And can be harmful.
When organizations promote mental health and well-being as part of their brand, but don’t back it up internally with action, resources, or accountability, the disconnect becomes palpable. Employees see it. They feel it. The result? A fractured culture, eroded trust, and disengaged teams.
It’s not enough to hang a poster in May or send out a company-wide email about Mental Health Awareness Month. Symbolic gestures without substance are not only ineffective, they can be damaging. When people are hurting, when they’re navigating loss or burnout or anxiety, and the organizational message is “we care” without follow-through, it becomes just another hollow promise.
The most successful, resilient, and employee-centric credit unions have one thing in common: they treat mental health and emotional well-being as part of their leadership infrastructure, not an annual campaign.
These organizations are intentional about:
- Leadership competencies: Leaders are trained and expected to understand emotional intelligence, how to have compassionate conversations, how to create psychological safety, and how to model vulnerability in healthy, appropriate ways.
- Cultural expectations: Mental health is woven into onboarding, team meetings, and strategic planning, not relegated to HR or “wellness committees.”
- Accountability & support: Participation in emotional intelligence and/or mental wellness training isn’t optional it is expected, resourced, and prioritized. Time is allocated. Leaders are held accountable not just for KPIs, but for how they lead.
Credit unions are built on relationships and on the belief that we serve people, not accounts. That same philosophy must apply internally. Our employees are dealing with complex realities. Grief. Economic uncertainty. Caregiving responsibilities. Emotional exhaustion.
As leaders, our responsibility is not to fix it all. But we can create environments where people feel seen, supported, and safe.
We do that by:
- Checking in regularly not performatively, and with real interest.
- Modeling boundaries and self-care ourselves.
- Making mental health resources visible, accessible, and stigma-free.
- Rewarding empathy and emotional intelligence as essential leadership traits.
This isn’t just good-hearted leadership; it is smart business. Studies consistently show that psychologically safe, emotionally intelligent cultures are more productive, innovative, and resilient.
My son’s question, “Are you sure you’re OK?” echoes in my mind often these days. It reminds me that leadership isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments of presence. The willingness to pause. To ask again. To listen.
It’s also a reminder that even the strong need support. That we don’t always have to be “on” or “fine.” And that creating space for these truths at home and in our organizations is a deeply courageous act.
As credit union professionals, we have the unique opportunity to shape the cultural fabric of our institutions. This Mental Health Awareness Month, I challenge each of us to go beyond the message and into the mission of mental wellness.
Don’t just talk about it. Build it. Model it. Resource it. Expect it.
Because when we do, we create workplaces where employees don’t just survive, they thrive. And that’s a culture worth investing in.
