Time of reflection

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? 

You’ve heard the story!

The Queen asks the mirror, and the mirror tells her what she wants to hear, but one day, the mirror says what it really feels, Snow White … Snow White is [actually] the fairest of them all. Now, if you allow me to use my imagination, I imagine a mirror of this generation saying, yep, I said it, and what are you gonna do about it?? 

My Pastor, Brandon D. Collins, once said in a message that we need to have a mirror perspective instead of a window perspective. But why? Well, the answer is simple: mirrors reflect truth!

Mirrors reflect truth, whether we like it or not. They peel back the layers that we try ever so hard to keep the world from seeing. I know that revealing those layers may be uncomfortable because we are forced to see the good, bad, and ugly, but as leaders, sometimes it takes looking in the mirror to get the wake-up call or reality check we need.

So, when was the last time you took a good look in the mirror? If not lately, let’s look now. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, have I been a good leader to them all? Did a halo shining brightly appear? Probably not because no one is perfect, but I am pretty sure you see behaviors that can be adjusted, like I saw when I did this exercise.

You might notice that there are behaviors you thought were ok but aren’t, the positive influence you thought you had was not so positive, the connections you thought you made were not so strong, and you were not as effective a leader as you thought. Eye-opening, huh? Guess what? It’s ok; there’s no judging here because, as leaders, we should be able to honestly reflect on ourselves to ensure we are the best person and leader possible.

Self-reflecting helps leaders devote time to thinking about themselves. Nope, not in a selfish way, but in a way that allows the blinders to come off for a more intentional assessment of skills, weaknesses, and strengths, which results in intentional interactions and responses.

To self-reflect, we must be willing to do a few things.

Stop. Have you ever heard the expression, stop and smell the roses? We can only see what we need to adjust if we stop. There is so much hustle and bustle on the job that sometimes we feel like we are not being productive if we stop, but not stopping is counterproductive. So, stop and allow yourself the opportunity to reflect each day. You will feel better, and your team will appreciate the change.

Ask questions. During self-reflection, there are a few questions to consider that would help us become better leaders.

• What went well today?
• What did not go well today?
• Did I seek opportunities to grow?
• Do my actions inspire change? If not, why?
• Did I welcome and accept feedback?
• How can I better support my team?
• Why can’t I let that issue go?
• What did I learn from that interaction?
• What can I do better tomorrow to improve?

Be honest. We must be honest with ourselves. We know our strengths and weaknesses, we know when a project failed who was ultimately responsible, we knew our response was not the best, we know that we need help but are too stubborn to ask, but being honest sets us apart and frees us from trying to do it all ourselves. Being honest helps us relieve stress and fill the gaps with team members who have the skills to do the job. Although we want to be the superhero, it is not our job to do everything; it is our job to inspire and foster collaborative and innovative teams that will get the job done.

Self-reflection is a continuous process that helps leaders evolve and become more effective. It will get uncomfortable at times because the blind spots that we tend to overlook will be uncovered, but keep going because the benefits of self-reflection outweigh the times of temporary discomfort. So the next time you go to that mirror and ask, mirror, mirror on the wall, have I been a good leader to them all, the new you will appear confident, bold, and stronger than ever!