When I was an undergraduate studying psychology, I worked in an independent bookstore. The store owner was going through a divorce, and I was both naïve and deeply curious about human interaction—hence my field of study. One day, I asked her, “How did you know when it was time to end the relationship?” Her reply was simple yet profound: “When the pain of staying exceeds the pain of leaving, that’s when you go.”
That moment was an “aha” for me—a tipping point in my understanding of human relationships.
Fast forward a few decades (and perhaps more), I found myself facilitating a Leadership Circle conversation with a group of association CEOs. I posed this question to them:
“What are you doing differently this year to ensure your organization is not only relevant but indispensable to your members five years from now?”
The responses initially centered around strategic plans and annual goals. Then Mara Humphrey, President/CEO of the Minnesota Credit Union League, offered a pivotal insight:
“The cultural piece determines our success.”
The conversation shifted. I followed up, asking:
“How do you bring people along on the journey?”
Ryan Donovan, President/CEO of FHLB Councils, emphasized that building a new culture to support change is critical. Randy Stolp, President/CEO of Synergent, expanded on this by highlighting the potential of AI to enhance human capabilities rather than replace them. From there, the discussion delved into how to develop a culture that fosters both individual contributions and organizational relevance.
Here are key takeaways from that conversation:
- Create a “permission structure”: As ModelThinkers explains, a Permission Structure provides emotional and psychological justification for someone to change deeply held beliefs and behaviors while maintaining their pride and integrity.
- Allow people to “leave fingerprints”: Ownership matters. Let people contribute their ideas and see them in action.
- Remember that words matter: Just as we don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, leaders may not get another opportunity to clearly articulate their vision.
- Simplify whenever possible: The old adage, K.I.S.S. (“keep it simple, stupid”), reminds us that overly complex plans often fail to inspire. A concise, clear vision, passionately shared, moves teams forward.
- Meet people where they are: Patience and understanding are essential. In Good to Great, Jim Collins emphasizes that it’s not enough to have the right people on the bus—they must also be in the right seats. Misaligned roles create liabilities rather than strengths.
We also explored the traits leaders need to build such a culture. Unsurprisingly, self-awareness, humility, and inclusiveness topped the list.
So, what’s the tipping point for an organization? As my former boss might say, it comes down to pain points. When the pain goes unchecked, things break down. But by anticipating challenges and proactively building a supportive culture, leaders can prevent breakdowns.
A culture that empowers people to change their minds, own their work, and thrive under respectful, efficient, and empathetic leadership is entirely achievable.
Since my early days in that bookstore, I’ve been fascinated by human relationships. Now, as a certified executive coach, I help people explore their roles and responsibilities in relationships. At Humanidei, we offer individual coaching as well as Leadership Circles—small, curated groups designed for meaningful conversations.
If you’re ready to explore how coaching or Leadership Circles can benefit you or your organization, I’d love to connect.
