Watch out for the eStatement Police!

by Ron Daly

Strangest thing happened to me. I got stopped by the eStatement Police on the way home for work the other day. They pulled me over to make sure that I could view my credit union’s online electronic statements.

I was warned that there was a pretty stiff penalty if I couldn’t prove that I could view the statement. Any citizen failing to prove that they could view that statement would immediately have their statements switched back to paper and, if the infraction was severe enough, they could cancel my credit union’s insurance policy.

Not one to argue with an officer of the law, I quickly reached for my smartphone sitting on the console next to me and he quickly reached for his taser. Realizing that I moved to quickly to comply with his request I slowly raised my hands back to the steering wheel. As his hands came off the taser I asked if it was OK for me to reach back to my iPad in my briefcase in the back seat. With a wary nod and his hand back on the taser, he let me get the iPad. I turned on the device and prayed that I had a decent cell tower to access. Once online I hit Safari, logged into my credit union account and clicked on eStatements. Turning the screen around, I displayed my credit union statement, which seemed to instantly defuse the situation.

The officer made a note in his log and thanked me for complying with his request. Before he walked back to his car I politely asked him “what would have happened if I didn’t have my smartphone or iPad to access my eStatements for him?” His response?

“We’ve been known to escort citizens home so they can prove, on their computers, that they weren’t lying on their eStatement enrollment application.” WOW!

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