An Open Letter To Justin Bieber (re: Prepaid Debit Card)

by Snarketing 2.0

by Ron Shevlin

Yo J-Man:

You don’t know me from Jack, but I’ve got some advice for you regarding your newly announced prepaid debit card, so I hope you’ll hear me out.

I may be a lot older than you, but we have a couple of things in common:

1. We’re both great singers. Of course, you sound great on a stage in front of tens of thousands of people. I, on the other hand, only sound good singing in the shower, with the water running. Naked.

2. Females scream when they see us. With you, they’re screaming out of some kind teen adulation and idolatry. They scream at me because I’ve done something wrong, or because I was singing. Naked.

Despite our similarities, there’s one big difference between us: I understand the world of financial services. And I’m betting you don’t.

Your prepaid debit card isn’t going to succeed and — out of the goodness of my heart — I’m going to tell you why, and offer you some advice on what you could do differently to improve the odds of the card’s success.

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